84: A Permeating Passion

It’s Christmas letter time! We aren’t very good about sending out our yearly letters, although this year’s letter should go out in the next few days. Of course that’s what I said last year too—all of last year. At first it was going to be a Christmas letter, and then a New Year’s letter, and then Valentines, Independence Day, Halloween, etc… You get the point. The box of 150 photos from last year was still sitting on my desk in the “to do” pile up until a few weeks ago. They are now neatly packed with our other pictures. Instead of getting into the hands of our friends, they will be divided among our children and grand children for numerous generations until eventually even our great-great-great-great-grandchildren will possess their own personal copy of our 2005 Christmas photo.

Anyway, that is not why I am writing. Still, I would like to write about another Christmas letter. We received it from some friends that have something like 14,000,000 children. (Have you ever noticed how families that are larger than yours seem to have waaaay too many kids?) Actually they only have nine.

In typical fashion, there was a short paragraph that described each child’s accomplishments and activities. However, the atypical part was that the paragraph also included an update on how each child was being used by God and/or what area they were growing in. Here is a sample (with the name changed):

“Renee has successfully made the transition to public school, and continues to show signs that she is a leader among her peers. We continue to pray for her efforts to bring Christ to classmates and track teammates. Her eye for detail and budding art creativity give us wonder as to how God would lead her life direction. However, we know that it will involve helping others know Christ more deeply and fully as she is so doing herself.”

By the time we read through several similar paragraphs, we felt like we had a personal tour through the hearts of the parents. They clearly grasped 1) that their kids have a life mission, and 2) that their development related to that mission was what mattered the most. School, soccer, karate and other activities were a valuable and exciting parts of their children’s life experiences. However, these were presented as a means to an end, not as an end in and of themselves.

We are on a mission to reach a lost and dying world! God has a personal life assignment for each of our children which relates to their gifting, abilities, and even weaknesses. Their growth and development toward that end dwarfs the importance of other typical childhood accomplishments. That flavor permeated each paragraph of our friend’s Christmas letter. What an incredibly encouraging letter it was for us to read!

It’s not that I’m wanting people to rethink how they write Christmas letters. That would be senseless. The point I’m attempting, is to make sure that you are excited about the things of God—that you are passionate about His kingdom. Surely that will flow out into your Christmas letters, and more importantly, your life. That’s what I like about that letter, not that it was written just right, but that it reflected a passionate life.

Here are some questions to consider:
How is our child uniquely gifted by God?
How can we help him/her develop those gifts?
What are our child’s most weaknesses?
How can we strengthen those areas?

www.premeditatedparenting.net

83: Cashiers and College

Psalms 39:4-5 “Show me, O Lord, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.
You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.”

I was buying some office supplies with a credit card the other day, and the cashier asked to see my I.D. I’ve always thought that was a good idea since most cashiers are not trained handwriting analysts. Just once I’d like to hear, “I’m sorry sir, but the little loop on the ‘S’ is open in this signature, and closed in this one. We’ll have to take you to jail.” Anyway, I politely obliged, and showed her my I.D. You’ve probably already guessed that my other cashier pet peeve is that they never look at the picture on the I.D. (“I’m sorry, sir. In this picture you have a mole on the right side of your nose, but in real life it’s on the left.” Doesn’t happen, does it?) Anyway, this particular cashier was sharper than most, and carefully held my driver’s license up for careful scrutiny. “Well, the hair color is not the same, but I guess it’s you.” I was caught a little off guard and had already wished her a good day before I realized that she was mocking my gray hair.

Time flies by, doesn’t it? Our thirteen-year-old has been taking some classes at the local middle school. Since we are just entering into the public school environment, we have not been around a lot of groups of parents our age. We’ve been a little shocked to discover that our peers are really looking old. They don’t look like college students any more. They look like parents—my parents. We’re having a hard time grasping the reality that college freshmen are closer in age to our 11-week-old baby than they are to us.

It’s good to stop and take inventory of our lives once in a while. It’s also good to stop and take inventory of our kids’ lives on occasion. Oftentimes it’s the things that matter the most to us that get bumped. Are you reading the Bible with your kids everyday to develop that habit in your lives, and to equip them with a knowledge of Scripture? Are you memorizing with them? Are you demonstrating unconditional love to them? Do you speak to them with the same respect you’d grant to someone else’s kids? Are you faithfully teaching and training them daily to prepare them for life? Are you more committed to spiritual disciplines than you are to them getting their homework, exercise, or music practice done? These daily disciplines, and others, are often what separate desperate parents from confident ones. Each day we move closer to the inevitable day when we get a hurried hug and kiss and the door closes behind them as they head off to college. We need to make our time now count.

82: More on Movies

More on Movies

I thought I’d share a few more thoughts related to my last post. First of all, my copastor sent me the following link right after I sent out my last e-mail. It is a website that gives reviews on movies to help equip you as a parent to make informed decisions on what you want to allow your family to watch. hope you find it to be helpful.

Developing standards for media, whether it be books, magazines, music, TV, or the movies is challenging for parents. (For the sake of simplicity, I’m just going to address movies in this e-mail, but the principles are the same with other forms of media.) It is easy to develop passionate views on both ends of the spectrum, and to defend those views biblically.

Some people hold to a very grace-based view that allows them to watch the same movies that all their friends watch. They place an emphasis on the grace of God and the freedoms that we enjoy in Christ. This position is very easy to defend biblically as demonstrated by the following verses.

Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Titus 1:15a To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure.

1 Corinthians 10:23 “Everything is permissible”-but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”-but not everything is constructive.

Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Others hold to a position that places more emphasis on living differently as Christians. Under this view they may hold very strict standards against all worldly influence, including almost all movies. This argument is also easy to defend scripturally as demonstrated by the following passages.

Romans 6:19 I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness.

1 Peter 2:16 Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.

1 Peter 1:14-16 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy , because I am holy.”

Ephesians 4:1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

1 Thessalonians 4:7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

So which is it? Which stance is biblically correct? You can decide the balance for your own life and family, but it seems to me that the case is strong enough on both sides that both must be true. God desires us to live in freedom, but also to pursue holiness. As a Christian, I have the freedom to do many things, but those things are not all good for me, and they are not all honoring to God. I want to choose to follow God’s ways in every choice, not because I have to (since I am not under the law), but because He Himself is a loving Father and knows what is best for me.

Many Christians do not hold a high enough standard. Many other Christians are too legalistic and live by a list of do’s and don’ts. I want to hold a high standard that is based in grace and freedom. It’s a delicate balance!